Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Suffering from Addiction & the Consequences

I know when I hear the word addiction the first thing I think of is drugs or alcohol, but as I sit here this morning in pain, I am once again forced to face my truth. I have an addiction problem. Sure in my youth I tried different drugs, but not doing them anymore was an easy thing for me. But here today I am facing a harsh truth and that is, the drug that I am addicted to is not illegal and it is everywhere...and that drug is food.

Not all foods of course, but wheat, soy and corn tear my stomach up! I knew this before the whole gluten buzz came about. It's not hard to know your stomach can't handle something when you start feeling gut wrenching pangs in your stomach right after you eat it. And for good measure, dairy doesn't sit well with me either. I lived for years with sinus issues and not being able to breathe in the
morning until I gave up dairy.

But for some reason I keep consuming them. I have researched to no end on these topics and I have tried to get around my sensitivity with enzymes, probiotics and even eating non gmo and organic versions...but to no avail. I will stop for a bit and then when I am feeling better again, brain clouds my reason and I am once again taking the drug.

Last night it was red velvet cake. And the crazy thing is I can literally hear two voices in my head when I eat it. One is screaming NO! and the other is rationalizing the moment.

I know I am not the only one in this situation, suffering from an addiction that others would tell us doesn't exist. So what is it in these products that makes us keep eating them when we know they are hurting us?

The yeast? The parasites sending signals to be fed? The comfort aspect in my subconscious? My stubborn nature that resists anything that says I can't do something?

I think the most frustrating thing for me is seeing so many others accomplishing eliminating these products from their lives completely. I have been able to do it for months on end, so why do I keep coming back?

Here are some personal walls to break down...

  • My first wall I needed to face was that I had an addiction problem. I have let myself believe that I can't be addicted to anything because I easily stopped doing all the "bad" things. But what I need to realize is that my real drug is what is hurting me. 
  • The second wall is the superficial reason I had for letting go of the food allergens. I have always had a huge focus on my external image like my weight and the way my body looked. This was the most dominate motivating factor for food choices in the past and part of the reason I tried so many different "diets".
  • Looking for that perfect cure...I will admit that I have been hoping for that perfect cure. I hear so many stories of people changing something in their diet or subconscious and then their whole life turned around. And although I have had amazing moments, I haven't found "the one" for me. Eliminating these allergens from my diet helps, but it hasn't totally cleared all my symptoms. And I have recently realized that my metabolic damage is one of the biggest causes of this. I need to focus on loving my body and realize that health is a constant journey, not some magic trick. 

So where am I with all of this?

My motivation is key, and remembering that health isn't a goal, but a lifestyle. Energy is the real gold! Our body is rebuilding itself constantly. I could have a whole new cellular digestive system in about two months so if I start supplying the perfect building materials, the new cells will be vital and healthy and most likely not even reactive to the allergens.

I have also had some major light bulbs go off about the extensive damage that stress does to the body. I used to used to think about stress more from a hypnotherapist point of view, but when I started to really study about how the organs, glands and hormones function in the body in relation to each other,! It is no wonder so many people are complaining about thyroid issues, weight gain and inflammation in the body. This is something that I want to really write more about because this is something that is deeply affecting us on a mental, physical and spiritual level.

So I know there will be set backs and I know my body will remind me of quickly, but that is ok. I appreciate the reminder to have my focus on healing and balancing the metabolic imbalance in my body and letting go of all external or quick fix reasons for making better food choices. Our bodies are brilliant, and just like our emotions (which are all tied together!), if we just listen, we can learn so much.

Plus, with this great new information from my body and realize that I have an addiction challange, I can bring in the Heart of Letting Go practice to help delete and let go of anything in the way of me being in complete alignment with my truth.

Here's to facing my truth and letting go of that which does not serve.....


1 comment:

  1. Thank you for once again, delving into the depths of something I have been trying to keep covered. You always seem to give me strength when I need it the most. Love to you!