Monday, August 22, 2016


I woke up feeling sore today. My neck is tight, and more importantly, I just don't feel right. I have been wanting to write about my journey for a long time but I never really knew how to start it. Where do I begin, how do I catch people up? This procrastination has created over a decade of stalling. And in this time I have learned more, and come up with lots more questions too.

My passion has always been health...and surfing. 

Since I was a kid, I have always been trying to "fix" the pain and suffering of others.  I am a super happy positive person and I like to see the up in everything and just keep rolling. But I also really don't like to see those I love suffer, and so starting in my childhood I started trying to figure out how to help my loved ones be happy. This has led me down a very disappointing road of depression. One that took me to very dark places and has turned the tables on me as I now began searching for my own health and happiness.

But surfing saved my life....

It was a major turning point for me as I started loving myself again. I wanted to be better and feel better for this sport I loved. And the ocean became my greatest healer.

I have tried every diet you can think of, but the underlining belief in all of them was that the body has the ability to heal itself. What I didn't realize was that I have had such depleted adrenals, nothing was going to balance.

I've been addicted to stimulants since I was fourteen and I discovered Mt. Dew. So even though I would be eating 100% raw or vegan, I was still under massive personal stress AND tanking my adrenals with stimulants.

My biggest pitfall has been stress in my life

I have been a classic case of the racing mind that is constantly trying to figure out the answers to make everything better. No answer has ever worked because I was still always running the "It's my job to fix it" programming that I learned as a small child. It has taken me awhile to accept and acknowledge how much fear and stress affected my body from this young age. My adrenals have been struggling for a very long time and now as my body ages, it doesn't matter what I eat if I don't address this basic imbalance.

Even my search for the answer....was stress

Running circles in my mind to find the answer to all my problems, it is no wonder I ended up in the place I am now. I've studied the body, the mind, the spirit...nutrition, symptoms and the list goes on. But in it all, I can see my focus has always been on the problem. So I have become really good and getting more and more of what I focus on...the problem.

I'm letting go...

The solution is in being. I know it. And I want to share it along the way. In so many ways I am back full circle. I am back to the place were it all began and it's time for me to let the baggage I have been shoving in closets all my life go. I've been afraid to let anyone see the truth because I was afraid people would laugh at me or judge me. So I hid, only letting others see what I wanted them to see. But how can I help if I hide? This has been part of the reason why I have never know where to start with blogging or doing videos on this topic. And I feel like it is the real reason why I am still searching for answers.

The information I have gathered is fantastic! And it's time for me to not only share it....but to let myself heal with it. And instead of starting over, I am going to share it right here. Right here in this place were I am already writing. I am going to tie everything together and in many ways get to know the real me. I may not like everything I see, but that is how we grow right? We can always make ourselves better. We can always keep learning and becoming.

So for today I am letting go of the stress of managing closets. I am ready to open the doors and let the winds free me from the stress of having to hide anything inside. And as I do I want to write and make videos about it because it is one way to be open about me, and maybe someone else might be inspired too.

Food, nutrition, wellness, meditation...and surfing! All the wonderful knowledge that has circled in my mind, I am here to share it through me. So for today I just want to say thank you to you and to me. I appreciate having someone to share with.


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